Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Baby bye bye bi

Oh yes, I'm going there. Bisexuality. The myth. The legend. The actual sexual orientation that is, to some, as believable as unicorns. I could be one of those people. On my path to thesbianism, I claimed bisexuality for just about two years. Then one day I realized that boys are gross and that I am very much a thesbian, a way of life that all women should embrace. Kidding! Only some boys are gross. Most are just mildly uncouth.

What I actually realized was that I had been fooling myself all along - I was always a thesbian, I had just been telling myself that I was bi to keep a straight safety net for my future. So for all y'all out there who believe that bisexuality is just a stop on the way to Gaytown, well sure, it is for some. But just because it was for me doesn't mean it is for everyone - can you not say that you enjoy both cake and ice cream? Both can be deliciously sweet and chocolatey, so why should you claim to only like one, when both have good qualities? Very similar qualities, in fact, except perhaps that one might get a bit more, ahem, liquified, if left for too long. But do you get what I'm saying? Are you picking up what I'm putting down? Hey, maybe you're simply a cake person. But just because you only like cake doesn't mean you couldn't possibly comprehend how someone might deign to say she likes ice cream too, amirite? Now I really want cake and ice cream. Dammit.

Back to my point - just because you've never felt quite the same way doesn't mean something fails to exist. "I've only ever felt like a woman before, therefore men don't exist." Sure, try that one out. Forget the "they're greedy" crap, the "they're indecisive" baloney. Feel like a whole lot of your bi lady friends end up in serious relationships with men? Perhaps because, considering they're BI, they could end up with either! Also let's consider the fact that there are approximately a gazillion straight men, and about 3 thesbians.

I think about this from time to time, because there seems to be a pretty strong undercurrent of biphobia within the LGT community. What? What's that? I missed something? There's supposed to be a B in there somewhere? But what does it stand for OH RITE BISEXUALITY.

I am making a post about it because a week or so ago I was in a very lovely thesbian bar. When striking up a conversation with my friends (an awesome thesbian couple) and the Hottie Von Hottenheimer employee serving us, Hottie was introduced to me, and before she even asked me my name she inquired, "are you bi?" Was this because I was dressed so femmey my eyes were shooting pink lasers? Was it because she has ready-to-go biphobia? Or was it because she actually has a thing for bi ladies? I very quickly found out it was not the latter, because as soon as I said "no, I'm a thesbian," she replied "good," and our convo moved to drinks. Perhaps she was just trying to be funny - she did seem to have quite a tongue-in-cheek sense of humour throughout the rest of the evening. It just kinda rubbed me the wrong way, though - what if I was bi? How would she have reacted? I'm pretty sure thesbians are judged by society enough to realize that this biphobia should be a thing of the past, stat. I got the feeling that, in informing her of my thesbianism, I was proving something - but what?

Look, ladies, if you're worried that she's going to leave you for a boy, why is that any different than if she leaves you for a girl? And if she's leaving you, maybe it's because you're insecure or biphobic. Or because you're a boy, in which case you're probably gross or mildly uncouth, and she's going to become a thesbian in a year or two so you may as well just give up now.

Bye bye bye!