Monday, February 22, 2010

Look inside, look inside your tiny mind

Last night my lovely brother took me to see Valentine's Day for my birthday. It's not that this even looked like it would be a good film. In fact, it was critically panned. And you may be familiar with my general dislike of the holiday. But. The preview won me over in making me think it would be an uplifting film, at least, and after seeing The Lovely Bones and Precious the last couple of weeks, I wanted a giggle and a heart tingle, gosh darnit.

So disappointing. And I'm not even referring to the movie. Unfortunately, we were seated in front of the most immature twentysomethings on the planet. How did I know they were twentysomethings? When I, ten minutes into the movie, turned around and in my best teacher voice asked if they could please keep it down. I wasn't even getting the worst of it, as they were closer to D. Anyway I got a good look at them, though they didn't dare look at me, or apologize in the slightest. Definitely mid to late twenties, and though they stopped talking for about five minutes, they kept going throughout the movie whenever the mood struck. Volume control, people. It's something we learn at about 6, maybe 7 years of age.

But that's not even the worst of it. Movie talkers, blah blah blah, everyone's dealt with that particular brand of idiocy. Spoiler alert (but only if you're slow because holy jumping Jehosephat it's the most obvious "reveal" ever): Bradley Cooper's character is gay, and in a relationship with that guy from Grey's Anatomy, I can't think of his name right now. At the end of the film Cooper's character goes up to McSteamy and lightly touches his face, the freakin' least amount of contact between any romantic couple in the film, and the Mensa members behind us start going "EWWW, GROSS! OMG THAT'S SO GROSS." I was too shocked to say anything. It wasn't just them saying it, either. About a dozen people scattered across the theatre gasped or said something to that effect. It's times like this I wish I was sitting with a fellow thesbian, so we could stand up and make out in front of everyone and be all, "eat it, homophobes."

My brother suggested that the women behind us (they had male escourts who didn't say quite as much) reacted in such a way not so much because they were actually disgusted, but because they "were disappointed in the fact that they couldn't picture themselves getting with Cooper if he's playing gay." This enraged me even more (got a lota rage apparently), because come on now. As if every film I see elicits this kind of reaction from me: "WTF Kate Winslet, you're playing straight again?!? EWW GROSS!"

How far have we come, then? I mean, if people still see absolutely no problem in so blatantly expressing their horror and disgust at such a minor affectionate act...ugggh welcome to my city. One of which I'm usually quite proud. But let's think about this - homophobic movie slurs (in under a year): Hometown: 2, Other City: 0. Having homophobic slurs specifically directed at me/who I'm with: Hometown: 2, Other City: 0. Makes me a little hesitant to move back...but I guess if you want progress you've got to start somewhere.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Our home and native land

The other day my friend A messaged me saying that there was a real, honest-to-goodness thesbian at the Olympic opening ceremonies! But not just any thesbian - a Canadian thesbian. Giddy with excitement, I Googled three words in the hopes of finding out who she meant: Canadian lesbian actress. What did I come across? A whole lot of nothing, my friends. Where are you hiding, Canadian thesbians? Where??

Turns out, she meant k.d. lang after all. A wonderful performer, no doubt, but defo *not* a thesbian. And so the search continues...

Monday, February 15, 2010

It's not what I'm used to, just wanna try you on

So, I'm not really sure who this vlogger is. But I think it's love.

hot and funny vlogger heck yeah

Friday, February 12, 2010

I'm not going to write you a love song

In years past, L and I used to celebrate Valentine's Day by binging on junk food and watching the most unromantic-romantic film we could think of. Sound like an oxy moron? Think My Best Friend's Wedding...yeah, that's pretty much all we could really think of too. We were looking for something where the heroine doesn't find love in the end. We could debate that Julia Roberts still gets a happy ending, but the point is, it wasn't a romantic one. Eventually, we discovered the horror film Valentine, and made that the annual movie. What love cynics. Alright, so now I've got a fair dose of Charlotte in me, but still - unless by V-Day you mean something that starts with V and ends in agina Monologues, I'm not quite a fan.

Anyway, in recent years, L has a acquired a boyfriend. Thus, she has left the "We Hate Valentine's Day" club, and I'm looking for recruits. Juuuuust kidding. But for those of you who do have a major hate-on for the supposed day of love, feel free to add to this list of songs below. My friend A and I are compiling a list of The Most Depressing Songs Ever. You know, for funsies.

-Mad World (Gary Jules and Michael Andrews) Sample Depressing Lyric: "And I find it kind of funny/I find it kind of sad/The dreams in which I'm dyin'/Are the best I've ever had."
-The End of the World (Skeeter Davis) SDL: "Why does my heart go on beating?/Why do these eyes of mine cry?/Don't they know it's the end of the world./It ended when you said goodbye."
-I Can't Make You Love Me (Bonnie Raitt) SDL: "Here in the dark, in these final hours/I will lay down my heart/and I'll feel the power/But you won't, no you won't."
-Sometime Around Midnight (The Airborne Toxic Event) SDL: The whole effing song, amirite?
-Somebody Kill Me (Adam Sandler) SDL: "I'm on my knees, pretty pretty please kill me. I want to die. Put a bullet in my head." Drew Barrymore: "I liked it." Ahahaha.
-The Blower's Daughter (Damien Rice) This one isn't so depressing in words as it is in tone.
-This Year's Love (David Gray) SDL: "This year's love had better last." Something about your heart being torn, trust issues, blah blah blah. It's a bit happy at the end but the tone is a sady, just like Blower's Daughter.
-I Will Follow You into the Dark (Death Cab for Cutie) This one's sad in a "omg we gonna die! but I love you so much! but we still gonna die!" sorta way. Like, it's not depressing...uh oh. Maybe I'll have to alter the list. But you know what I mean? "If there's no one beside you/When your soul embarks/Then I'll follow you into the dark." Makes ya want to shed a little tear, hey? No? Just me? Alright then.

Anyway I give up. Just trust me - they're broody.

-You Don't Have to Say You Love Me (Dusty Springfield)
-Say it to Me Now (Glen Hansard in 'Once')
-Hold On (Good Charlotte)
-Both Sides Now (Joni Mitchell/Judy Collins)
-Somedays (Regina Spektor)
-Hallelujah (Rufus Wainwright)

Happy V-Day!! <3

Thursday, February 4, 2010

What's my age again?

I have no words...but I will tomorrow when I blog like a giddy 14 year old Jonas Brothers fan about the amazingness (a word, definitely) that was tonight's episode of Skins.

Edit: Okay, so I didn't exactly blog about this "tomorrow." I'm sure the three people who read this were waiting with bated breath. But here I am! And I've decided not to recap, because autostraddle.com and afterellen.com have already brilliantly done so. All I will say is, even though Naomi acted like a proper moron and cheated on Emily, the episode was wonderfully written, directed, and acted, and was therefore thoroughly enjoyable. Apparently, it angered many a fan, but come on now - it's a TV show. Drama is a requirement, people. True the whole "omfglmnop someone cheated" trope is quite tired, but I think, in some way, it works for Naomi's character. Or maybe *worked* for her character, as she was originally coming to terms with being in a relationship and perhaps feeling "trapped," as Sophia's note said.

Regardless, Skins remains one of the best representations of thesbianism on television to date, and for that I will gleefully continue to watch.