Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Hahahaha

Me: Kate Middleton is really pretty, don't you think Mom?

Mom: She's off the market T.P., so don't even think about it.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

I hear the secrets that you keep

Five years ago today.

"I have a secret. It appears it's a secret I can't even write about, really. I guess I figure that if I write it, it'll actually be true. And it can't be. I know this sounds like it doesn't make sense, or it wouldn't to the average person, but then again, the average person shouldn't be reading my diary.

I don't know what to do, I really don't. I've had this secret for quite some time, I've just never truly acknowledged it. I don't know why I am now. I don't know if I'll ever write about it again. Geez, it sounds like I'm pregnant or something. Thank goodness, no. But still, I don't want this secret either."

Then the Thesbian Princess said something in German (she was studying German at the time), bid her diary gute nacht, and did not, in fact, write about "it" for another five months.

A very sad and confused 18-year-old Thesbian Princess would've been thankful. Because a lot of the time...it is tremendously better.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Girls will be boys and boys will be girls

A few nights ago I was being driven home by a taxi driver, and for some reason, he wanted to talk about my love life.

Oh yes.

Had I just come from doing something with my boyfriend, he wondered? Hah, said I, just before I proceeded to tell him details of my life that cannot and should not be summarized in a ten minute drive home. With a perfect stranger. In the wee hours of the morning.

I came out to him, and when I did he was like, "wait...girl...???" as if he didn't hear me right. Then when I said oh yes indeed, girls are amazing, I just can't find any blah blah blah, he was like, "well you shouldn't anyway, you should try with a man." Ohhhhh yes. He did.

I then said I HAVE tried dating men, it didn't fit, and he says, "well, you should try again," so I said "have you ever tried being with a man, sir?" He claims "that's different," but I said I really don't think so. Then he said I have to think of God and how I'm going to have to answer to Him one day. So I, trying not to get worked up, say that I know in my heart that God loves me, God made me to be just who I am, go blow yourself, etc etc. Okay maybe not that last one. But it was one passion-infused lil statement.

Probably why, when he finally dropped me off, he awkwardly/sympathetically suggested, "have you ever tried, uh, The Embassy? I think...maybe you should try there."

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

I'm a sex machine ready to reload (and apparently that's totally cool)

Have they not seen The Real L Word?

This also brings me to the fact that one of my coworkers, who had recently gone out to see strippers for his birthday, informed me that "it's a good time, and you don't want to have a slutty girlfriend, so it's cool that you can go there and, you know..." To which I replied "what, watch other girls be slutty? What is a slutty girlfriend, anyway? Someone who's sexing you a lot? Because I don't see that as a problem. Someone who's sexing other people? Because then...I don't think she's your girlfriend. And also, it's a stripper's job to "be slutty," as you say. HER JOB. It's a service." Then I reeled it in and didn't ask how he is exempt from sluttiness in being a patron, etc etc.

Also my grandma told me the other day to "remember, Thesbian Princess, men don't like bossy women - take note." Noted.

Grams mustn't have noticed my slutty thesbian eyeing of a Miss Ellen Page when a clip from Inception interrupted her evening news. Let's take a moment to be queer sluts once more. After all, there is apparently no shame...

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

You better shop around

So I work as a cashier, and many a possible thesbian has gone through my lane. Today in particular, a fairly feminine blond woman wearing an adorably splashed-upon paint suit came through. Immediately I think - should I do something? I have terrible (I mean terrible - remember Dana Fairbanks [RIP]?) gaydar, so when I have even the slightest inkling (extra side note: inkling is taken from inclination, so why the k?!) that someone might be a thesbian, I get quite excited. I want to give them a special nod, and get one in return. I want RECOGNITION. So I look a bit deeper into a possible thesbian's eyes, as if to say "I'm one too!" when in fact I'm probably just creeping them out. I noticed that she smiled for an extra millisecond and looked at my name tag...I guess until I start wearing my "I'm a lesbian, ask me how!" button to work, I'll be content with that.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Baby bye bye bi

Oh yes, I'm going there. Bisexuality. The myth. The legend. The actual sexual orientation that is, to some, as believable as unicorns. I could be one of those people. On my path to thesbianism, I claimed bisexuality for just about two years. Then one day I realized that boys are gross and that I am very much a thesbian, a way of life that all women should embrace. Kidding! Only some boys are gross. Most are just mildly uncouth.

What I actually realized was that I had been fooling myself all along - I was always a thesbian, I had just been telling myself that I was bi to keep a straight safety net for my future. So for all y'all out there who believe that bisexuality is just a stop on the way to Gaytown, well sure, it is for some. But just because it was for me doesn't mean it is for everyone - can you not say that you enjoy both cake and ice cream? Both can be deliciously sweet and chocolatey, so why should you claim to only like one, when both have good qualities? Very similar qualities, in fact, except perhaps that one might get a bit more, ahem, liquified, if left for too long. But do you get what I'm saying? Are you picking up what I'm putting down? Hey, maybe you're simply a cake person. But just because you only like cake doesn't mean you couldn't possibly comprehend how someone might deign to say she likes ice cream too, amirite? Now I really want cake and ice cream. Dammit.

Back to my point - just because you've never felt quite the same way doesn't mean something fails to exist. "I've only ever felt like a woman before, therefore men don't exist." Sure, try that one out. Forget the "they're greedy" crap, the "they're indecisive" baloney. Feel like a whole lot of your bi lady friends end up in serious relationships with men? Perhaps because, considering they're BI, they could end up with either! Also let's consider the fact that there are approximately a gazillion straight men, and about 3 thesbians.

I think about this from time to time, because there seems to be a pretty strong undercurrent of biphobia within the LGT community. What? What's that? I missed something? There's supposed to be a B in there somewhere? But what does it stand for OH RITE BISEXUALITY.

I am making a post about it because a week or so ago I was in a very lovely thesbian bar. When striking up a conversation with my friends (an awesome thesbian couple) and the Hottie Von Hottenheimer employee serving us, Hottie was introduced to me, and before she even asked me my name she inquired, "are you bi?" Was this because I was dressed so femmey my eyes were shooting pink lasers? Was it because she has ready-to-go biphobia? Or was it because she actually has a thing for bi ladies? I very quickly found out it was not the latter, because as soon as I said "no, I'm a thesbian," she replied "good," and our convo moved to drinks. Perhaps she was just trying to be funny - she did seem to have quite a tongue-in-cheek sense of humour throughout the rest of the evening. It just kinda rubbed me the wrong way, though - what if I was bi? How would she have reacted? I'm pretty sure thesbians are judged by society enough to realize that this biphobia should be a thing of the past, stat. I got the feeling that, in informing her of my thesbianism, I was proving something - but what?

Look, ladies, if you're worried that she's going to leave you for a boy, why is that any different than if she leaves you for a girl? And if she's leaving you, maybe it's because you're insecure or biphobic. Or because you're a boy, in which case you're probably gross or mildly uncouth, and she's going to become a thesbian in a year or two so you may as well just give up now.

Bye bye bye!

Saturday, May 29, 2010

If I fell

I just watched the preview to Beyond Gay: The Politics of Pride, which I sadly missed at a recent LGBT film festival. Mid-trailer, a couple of statistics came up on the screen:

Homosexuality remains illegal in roughly seventy countries.

In seven it is punishable by death.


I couldn't believe it. I often dismiss how lucky I am to live in Canada. Sure, there are risks in coming out as gay still, but we definitely do not risk punishment by our legal system. To think that by the simple, innocent act of falling in love, you're putting your life in danger? Today?

I wanted to know a bit more about rights, so of course, in Googling LGBT legal rights I was lead directly to Wikipedia. According to their entry, "in modern times seven countries have no official heterosexist discrimination. They are Belgium, Canada, Netherlands, Norway, Sweden, South Africa, and Spain. This full non-discrimination includes the rights of marriage and adoption."

Seven countries. SEVEN countries. That is ridiculous. My marriage isn't valid in any other country? And my life would be at stake in seven countries if I even tried to get married??

I wish I could help, I wish I could do more to change minds and change laws...I am very blessed to live where I do.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Who's fast, and thorough, and sharp as a tack

So I don't know if you knew this, but Sabrina Jalees is pretty much my ideal. I've got a big old theeeesbian crush (Mean Girls?...anyone?), because she is just so witty! Ughughugh, cute hip look + funny lady = perfection, amirite?! I was watching a new Video on Trial featuring Sabrina with my my friend A tonight, and in the middle of Sabrina sitting there, crackin' some jokes and looking hot, I said to A, "that's it! She is it. Sabrina Jalees, or the closest one can be to her, because she is just...my type. I have a type!!"

A: (calmly sitting there, analyzing the situation) She is definitely your type, and I can see you two marrying in the future.
Me: No need to create my own false hopes then when you can do it for me. Thanks friend! Also she has a girlfriend.
A: Minor detail.

Also, the librarian I am currently working under loaned me a book from the teacher exchange programme, the book being Ellen Degeneres's second (?), entitled The Funny Thing Is...When I showed the book to my mother, telling her I got special permission to borrow it before the teachers do their swap, my mom immediately shouted, "ohmigosh KEEP IT!" Hah.

Monday, April 26, 2010

A grown-up woman should never fall so easily

I was just listening to a mix CD while driving and three things came to mind.

1. I must have been super dee duper entranced by Amanda Seyfried's hot bod while watching Mamma Mia, because somehow "Lay All Your Love On Me" made it onto the CD. It's an okay song to be sure, but somehow, unless listening to it while watching this, it's just not mix CD-worthy. Speaking of Amanda Seyfried's hot bod, have you seen her new ink? Scroll down on that afterellen link, it shows that she has the word "minge," a slang term for vagina in England, tattooed on her foot. Hell to the yeah.

2. I will never. get. tired. of this song. Neverevernever. The person who's singing it seems to be a bit of a douche - who the hell are you to tell someone that sooner or later they're going to give you all the love they've "been denying"? But I don't even caaaaare, woo hoo it's so damn catchy.

3. Remember the days when you stayed in the car extra long, just to hear the end of a song you loved? And if you were extra on the ball, you would have a blank casette tape ready, to record that rockin jam, because you were too broke to buy the casette for realsies. I miss those days.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Diary of a Future Thesbian, Part 2

From the BFF diary I shared with my next door neighbour, A:

Sunday, August 2, '98

"I have the biggest crush on B nextdoor. He is really sweet, funny, and cute. I also like A's brother M a lot. M, if you're reading this, nothing I just wrote is true! (it really is, though)"

Way to protect those super-secret crushes there, Thesb Princess.

Another gem, from the year prior:

Sunday, May 25, '97

"Hi! [Thesb Princess] here! It is my brother's birthday tomorrow. He is turning 14. I am 10. I don't ever want to be 14, although I wonder what it would be like. I didn't want to be 8, 9, and 10, too. Oh well! I am probably not going on the end of the year trip, and I can't think of a terrific thing to do. Should I:

Go shopping
Go swimming
Have a sleepover
All of the above
None of the above"

Wow. Apparently it's all downhill after 7, but why not have some SUPER AWESOME SLEEPOVERS on the way?

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

I try to be like Grace Kelly, but all her looks were too sad

I want to make a thesbian production - that's right, I will write a lil something, and it could be filmed for funsies this summer.

I also want to create a thesbian baseball league...maybe I could work with the two and make a film about thesbians playing baseball. Oh no wait, I think that was called A League of Their Own.

Either way - thesbians uniting! Literally bringing the words thespian and lesbian together. It should happen. Woo woo excitement.

And I kneeeew...

I just watched a short HBO documentary called "When I Knew," featuring many gay and thesbian adults speaking about the moment or age where they realized they were homos beyond the sapien variety. Which got me thinking about when I knew, aka verrrrry late in life, if I'm going by what the people in the film said. And even when I knew, I kept telling myself that it wasn't true, so what could have been my monumental moment of clarity is mighty muddled (alliteration!). But it got me thinking - even though I figured everything out when I was about 20, there must have been signs beforehand. There must be signs where I should have known, hence the list entitled:

When I Should Have Known

1. When I was 11 and had an insane "admiration" for Drew Barrymore.
2. When I was 12 and had a similar "admiration" for one of my female teachers...yeah, these admirations happened a lot.
3. When I pictured myself getting married, I felt an uncomfortable fear. Except for the dress part, I felt only giddy excitement about that, obvs.
4. When I realized I preferred watching The L Word to hanging out with my boyfriend...seriously double you tee eff was I thinking??

Sunday, April 4, 2010

I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero: Part 2


M recently sent me the above picture she found on the ever-so-popular website for PostSecret, and it spurred on our Thesbian Indignation. Why is being thought a thesbian/some form of the LGBTQ community somehow still the worst possible insult? How pathetic is it that it is still up there with being considered stupid? It's not just this random secret-sharer, either; I have heard from people in teacher's college and my own friends how annoying it is when people think they are thesbians. To which I ask: have you ever told someone you were, in fact, a thesbian, when they assumed you were straight? Do you ever fear reactions when you come out as straight? And why does it bother you so much, being thought a thesbian, unless of course it directly infringes upon you meeting men of your persuasion?

Does it have to do with stereotypes? Because even I have caught myself buying into the thesbian stereotype crap. Heading out the door today, I very nearly didn't wear my pageboy hat because, while also wearing my aviators, I was worried I looked "too much like a thesbian." To which I immediately shook my head and said "seriously, self - who cares??" I am a thesbian, and stereotypes or not, one should not care how they look, or what kind of activities might make them seem a certain way, because guess what? Thesbians and non-thesbians all. have. things. in common. Ca-raaazy.

What I am asking for is not the assumption that I am gay, and not assumptions that straight people are straight. Let's not assume either way, and wonder at the ever-so-slightly fewer awkward/annoyed moments there are in our lives.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Never been a sinner, I never sinned. I got a friend in Jesus

I've been thinking about religion a bit again. It seems to keep coming up, especially in discussions concerning school board applications. If I teach, many people try to assure me that teaching for a Catholic board wouldn't have to be "that bad." And it wouldn't be - if you're alright with living in the closet for the rest of your life. Hmm, let me think about that...

It's a shame that living in any way - yes, this means you, non-married-but-co-habitating-breeders - that does not adhere to Catholic doctrine could see you reprimanded, or possibly fired. I agree with the basic "love your fellow (wo)man" principles of Catholicism, and I'm fairly well-versed in things of a biblical nature, so teaching at a Catholic school - if teaching is all we're focusing on, as it should be - wouldn't be hard at all. Too bad their views on sexual diversity are so limiting. Growing up I somehow always thought I'd be teaching at my old elementary school...

I know what you're thinking, dear reader (holla at my one reader!) - where oh where is there a thesbian aspect to this heavy-toned post? Riiiiight...here:

The drama kids at my high school basically had two options - sing and be in the musicals, or wait until some religious mini-production came around and be in that. Seeing as how I can barely sing "Happy Birthday," I opted for the religious plays. The two that I remember were called "Three Trees" and "Stations of the Cross" (but who's heard of that rite?!). The first was about how Jesus had a life-long connection with trees (you're shocked, I know), the second was just a looooong dramatization of the Stations of the cross. In both cases I was the Virgin Mary. Typecast!! But she was the leading lady so what did I care, ya know? In one or both of the cases, I can't remember now, the young man playing Jesus turned out to be A Gay, too. "Jesus" and "Mary" were gay. And are now made to feel unwelcome within the church in which they grew up. There I go making it heavy again. Woopsy daisy! Alright just watch this, it'll set your heart a-flutter and make you believe in love and unicorns and stuff again.

Friday, March 12, 2010

And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad

Actually, I just kind of find it - the two L Word characters I seem to be most similar to are the two who were killed off! Dum dum DUM.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Look inside, look inside your tiny mind

Last night my lovely brother took me to see Valentine's Day for my birthday. It's not that this even looked like it would be a good film. In fact, it was critically panned. And you may be familiar with my general dislike of the holiday. But. The preview won me over in making me think it would be an uplifting film, at least, and after seeing The Lovely Bones and Precious the last couple of weeks, I wanted a giggle and a heart tingle, gosh darnit.

So disappointing. And I'm not even referring to the movie. Unfortunately, we were seated in front of the most immature twentysomethings on the planet. How did I know they were twentysomethings? When I, ten minutes into the movie, turned around and in my best teacher voice asked if they could please keep it down. I wasn't even getting the worst of it, as they were closer to D. Anyway I got a good look at them, though they didn't dare look at me, or apologize in the slightest. Definitely mid to late twenties, and though they stopped talking for about five minutes, they kept going throughout the movie whenever the mood struck. Volume control, people. It's something we learn at about 6, maybe 7 years of age.

But that's not even the worst of it. Movie talkers, blah blah blah, everyone's dealt with that particular brand of idiocy. Spoiler alert (but only if you're slow because holy jumping Jehosephat it's the most obvious "reveal" ever): Bradley Cooper's character is gay, and in a relationship with that guy from Grey's Anatomy, I can't think of his name right now. At the end of the film Cooper's character goes up to McSteamy and lightly touches his face, the freakin' least amount of contact between any romantic couple in the film, and the Mensa members behind us start going "EWWW, GROSS! OMG THAT'S SO GROSS." I was too shocked to say anything. It wasn't just them saying it, either. About a dozen people scattered across the theatre gasped or said something to that effect. It's times like this I wish I was sitting with a fellow thesbian, so we could stand up and make out in front of everyone and be all, "eat it, homophobes."

My brother suggested that the women behind us (they had male escourts who didn't say quite as much) reacted in such a way not so much because they were actually disgusted, but because they "were disappointed in the fact that they couldn't picture themselves getting with Cooper if he's playing gay." This enraged me even more (got a lota rage apparently), because come on now. As if every film I see elicits this kind of reaction from me: "WTF Kate Winslet, you're playing straight again?!? EWW GROSS!"

How far have we come, then? I mean, if people still see absolutely no problem in so blatantly expressing their horror and disgust at such a minor affectionate act...ugggh welcome to my city. One of which I'm usually quite proud. But let's think about this - homophobic movie slurs (in under a year): Hometown: 2, Other City: 0. Having homophobic slurs specifically directed at me/who I'm with: Hometown: 2, Other City: 0. Makes me a little hesitant to move back...but I guess if you want progress you've got to start somewhere.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Our home and native land

The other day my friend A messaged me saying that there was a real, honest-to-goodness thesbian at the Olympic opening ceremonies! But not just any thesbian - a Canadian thesbian. Giddy with excitement, I Googled three words in the hopes of finding out who she meant: Canadian lesbian actress. What did I come across? A whole lot of nothing, my friends. Where are you hiding, Canadian thesbians? Where??

Turns out, she meant k.d. lang after all. A wonderful performer, no doubt, but defo *not* a thesbian. And so the search continues...

Monday, February 15, 2010

It's not what I'm used to, just wanna try you on

So, I'm not really sure who this vlogger is. But I think it's love.

hot and funny vlogger heck yeah

Friday, February 12, 2010

I'm not going to write you a love song

In years past, L and I used to celebrate Valentine's Day by binging on junk food and watching the most unromantic-romantic film we could think of. Sound like an oxy moron? Think My Best Friend's Wedding...yeah, that's pretty much all we could really think of too. We were looking for something where the heroine doesn't find love in the end. We could debate that Julia Roberts still gets a happy ending, but the point is, it wasn't a romantic one. Eventually, we discovered the horror film Valentine, and made that the annual movie. What love cynics. Alright, so now I've got a fair dose of Charlotte in me, but still - unless by V-Day you mean something that starts with V and ends in agina Monologues, I'm not quite a fan.

Anyway, in recent years, L has a acquired a boyfriend. Thus, she has left the "We Hate Valentine's Day" club, and I'm looking for recruits. Juuuuust kidding. But for those of you who do have a major hate-on for the supposed day of love, feel free to add to this list of songs below. My friend A and I are compiling a list of The Most Depressing Songs Ever. You know, for funsies.

-Mad World (Gary Jules and Michael Andrews) Sample Depressing Lyric: "And I find it kind of funny/I find it kind of sad/The dreams in which I'm dyin'/Are the best I've ever had."
-The End of the World (Skeeter Davis) SDL: "Why does my heart go on beating?/Why do these eyes of mine cry?/Don't they know it's the end of the world./It ended when you said goodbye."
-I Can't Make You Love Me (Bonnie Raitt) SDL: "Here in the dark, in these final hours/I will lay down my heart/and I'll feel the power/But you won't, no you won't."
-Sometime Around Midnight (The Airborne Toxic Event) SDL: The whole effing song, amirite?
-Somebody Kill Me (Adam Sandler) SDL: "I'm on my knees, pretty pretty please kill me. I want to die. Put a bullet in my head." Drew Barrymore: "I liked it." Ahahaha.
-The Blower's Daughter (Damien Rice) This one isn't so depressing in words as it is in tone.
-This Year's Love (David Gray) SDL: "This year's love had better last." Something about your heart being torn, trust issues, blah blah blah. It's a bit happy at the end but the tone is a sady, just like Blower's Daughter.
-I Will Follow You into the Dark (Death Cab for Cutie) This one's sad in a "omg we gonna die! but I love you so much! but we still gonna die!" sorta way. Like, it's not depressing...uh oh. Maybe I'll have to alter the list. But you know what I mean? "If there's no one beside you/When your soul embarks/Then I'll follow you into the dark." Makes ya want to shed a little tear, hey? No? Just me? Alright then.

Anyway I give up. Just trust me - they're broody.

-You Don't Have to Say You Love Me (Dusty Springfield)
-Say it to Me Now (Glen Hansard in 'Once')
-Hold On (Good Charlotte)
-Both Sides Now (Joni Mitchell/Judy Collins)
-Somedays (Regina Spektor)
-Hallelujah (Rufus Wainwright)

Happy V-Day!! <3

Thursday, February 4, 2010

What's my age again?

I have no words...but I will tomorrow when I blog like a giddy 14 year old Jonas Brothers fan about the amazingness (a word, definitely) that was tonight's episode of Skins.

Edit: Okay, so I didn't exactly blog about this "tomorrow." I'm sure the three people who read this were waiting with bated breath. But here I am! And I've decided not to recap, because autostraddle.com and afterellen.com have already brilliantly done so. All I will say is, even though Naomi acted like a proper moron and cheated on Emily, the episode was wonderfully written, directed, and acted, and was therefore thoroughly enjoyable. Apparently, it angered many a fan, but come on now - it's a TV show. Drama is a requirement, people. True the whole "omfglmnop someone cheated" trope is quite tired, but I think, in some way, it works for Naomi's character. Or maybe *worked* for her character, as she was originally coming to terms with being in a relationship and perhaps feeling "trapped," as Sophia's note said.

Regardless, Skins remains one of the best representations of thesbianism on television to date, and for that I will gleefully continue to watch.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

The way I see it, he said, you just can't win it

So I went out to a club last night with some coursemates of mine. It was an exceptionally fun time, despite the fact that we went to a club that plays music I don't generally listen to, and despite the fact that there were a disproportionate amount of XYs there, considering it was an evening where women get in free. For free, people! In my mind that means it should be buzzing with thesbians like a night at The Planet.

Honestly though, I went in knowing it was going to be a very, very straight club. But, as in every straight clubbing experience, I mistakenly believed that it would be quite easy to spend the night dancing only with the ladies with whom I had arrived. All too frequently, however, some random man would start grinding up behind me, and oftentimes returned even when my comrades pulled me closer to dance with them. One individual, despite me kindly shouting to them, "sorry, I'm a thesbian!" trickily made a motion like he didn't understand what I had said, and leaned in closer to "hear" me. When I shouted it for a second time, mid-sentence, he attempted to kiss me.

So here are the issues:

-Some straight women just want to go out and have a nice, fun time dancing with their friends. If they tell men that they don't want to dance, they frequently give the "we're thesbians" excuse. Therefore when I legitimately give that answer, I'm guessing guys like Douchey McDoucherson have heard it one too many times, and decide, "eff that, I'm going to kiss this supposed thesbian." Because sexual harrassment is always the answer.
-I have heard some complaints that there are too many straight women in gay clubs, sometimes because they are allies, and sometimes because people like Douchey make it difficult for them to enjoy a night out. Not only do I not mind straight women coming out to gay clubs, I celebrate the fact that everyone is happy and having a fun time together. I just find it sad that gay clubs are kind of seen as a refuge for straight ladies, who have every right to feel comfortable in straight clubs!

Solutions:

-I start to petition my lovely straight guy friends to go out clubbing every night of the week, to try and out-number the creepos.
-We take clubbing back old school stylz and have people fill out dance cards. Mine would look something like this:

"Smack That" by Akon - The Girls With Whom I Arrived
"Fire Burning" by Sean Kingston - The Girls With Whom I Arrived
"Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga - The Girls With Whom I Fucking Arrived!

Monday, January 11, 2010

When love takes over, ye-ea-ah

After visiting L for a pre-new year girly slumber partay, I borrowed one of her issues of Cosmopolitan. I had been reading it the night before, amidst the make-overing, nail polishing, Gilmore Girling activities. Generally speaking, I hate the magazine. It's definitely not inclusive of all types (ie. thesbians) of women, and it just generally displays products/fashions I could care less about. But as a silly, guilty pleasure read, I borrowed it, and am now learning so much about myself!

For instance, did you know that I'm a "Master Dater" (my mind just went to when I was on the debate team for about two seconds in high school. It was me and 6 guys, the obvious joke concerning "master debaters"...maybe why I love 'that's what she said' so much)? The Cosmo Quiz revealed all, saying I'm no Bashful Babe or Too-Fierce Flirt. Whew! What a relief.

Delving more into love-stuffs (I'm guessing there's extra because it's like, the new year issue? I have no idea), apparently my best lovin' and sexin' matches are Libra and Scorpio, which, to Cosmo, translates to Josh Duhamel (Sweetest Scorpio!) and Zac Efron (Spiciest Libra!). Alright, I'll take it. Zac's pretty much a thesbian, let's face it.

Then of course there's the interview with my one-time twin Amanda Bynes. I thought that people on magazine covers have to have a new film happening, or something to promote. But apparently the article focused on taking Bynes to a psychic and asking about her (prepare to be shocked) love life.

Aaand back to academic reading.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Suddenly I see

I was reading an article in a magazine recently about actress Meredith Baxter, who starred on the show Family Ties in the 80s. I had never seen the show, and I didn't really know who she was, but the article seemed like it would be very thesbian-centric, so I read it. The article interviewed Baxter who, now in her 60s, is finally coming out publically as a lesbian. What I find particularly interesting is not the fact that she is coming out so late in life, but the way she describes her self-realization. The magazine that interviews her (People) states that, after three failed (straight) marriages, Baxter

compares her realization about being gay to what happened in seventh grade when, after years of blurry vision, she put on a friend's eyeglasses. "I almost started to cry. I could see indiviual leaves on trees that I thought were just lollipops. I just didn't know that was the way things looked," she recalls. "That was kind of the way it was for me the first time I was with a woman: It was like, 'Okay, I get it.'"


Sound familiar? One of the main characters on Grey's Anatomy used the same analogy last season, I think:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BB3LK_Qh_dU

I can see the study now - "Eye problems linked to lesbianism, everyone's mothers push for free eye care." Truly though, I wonder how people would go about describing their personal revelations...