Wednesday, December 30, 2009

What a day, a year, a laugh it is

Top 5 Reasons Why 2010 Will Be a Not-So-Crappy Year

5. I will learn to play the guitar. I wanted it to be the drums but apparently this requires rhythm?
4. I will save enough money to move to London, England, by mid-September. This plan requires me to stop spending so much money on fun and
3. food, therefore I will save money while simultaneously losing weight.
2. I will finish more books. My own and the few I've put down to read oh-so-riveting curriculum.
1. I will not fall. Down stairs, in skates, in love...but maybe from the sky.

Diary of a Future Thesbian, Part 1

Excerpted from one of my little diaries,"My Life According to Me," "My Dream" page.

February 27th, 2000

"I would be the most famous, adored actress of my time. I would be best friends with Sarah Michelle Gellar and Julia Roberts, and I would date Freddie Prinze Jr, then marry David Boreanaz. I would win 2 Oscars and be paid 20 mil. a film. I would have 2 wonderful kids and live in a large house and travel at least 5 times a year."

I'm not sure why I thought Freddie was good enough to date but not to marry, but I'm glad to see I wasn't about to jump into anything serious right away.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

For auld lang syne, my dear

Trial and Error - Top 5 Things Learned This Year:

5. When reading to young children, make sure words like "fertilization" and "sperm" aren't in the book.
4. Sushi still tastes like fish-flavoured jujubes
3. Surfing can sometimes lead to swallowing dirty dirty water. That's as fun as it sounds.
2. Mice are in fact that terrifying close up. Next to where you sleep. Oh god oh god.
1. Cutting your hair to not match your significant other = ridic idea. The relationship might not last as long as you're stuck with cute but infuriatingly short hair. Balls.

Roses really smell like...

I ran into S the other day, and I haven't seen her since the end of summer. After we hugged, she said "wow! You smell like great old memories." It was one of the strangest/loveliest compliments I have ever received.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear

Christmas has come and gone, with a relative lack of sadness. Strange, I know, but for the last five years or so, the build up to Christmas has always far surpassed the day itself. But the day itself was nice! Big Chinese food dinner. Many games played. Offered threats against former and future lovers from overprotective relatives. And hugs! Oh, so many hugs.

Then I had a DLG meeting (a name my two good friends and I came up with a couple of years ago, meaning "Don't Let Go"...long story). It was really a Christmas gathering/gift exchange, but we got into heavy subject matter, such as our futures and how utterly confused and penniless we feel. During our undergrads, we all had pretty clear visions of what we wanted our lives to look like. I've "known" since I was even younger. But we've hit a post-grad, post-money slump, and our ideas are becoming more and more muddled...

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

I wish I was a lesbian, and not a hetero

I witnessed a very thesbionic production last Friday, entitled "My Mother's Lesbian Jewish Wiccan Wedding." It had me laughing allll the way home. One of the best aspects of the show was it's meta quality. For example, the invisible theatrical spaces were oftentimes ignored, and the narrator interrupts his younger self when it comes time for him to have a girlfriend. And of course, musical numbers like "Don't Take Your Lesbian Moms to Hooters" and "You Don't Need a Penis" speak for themselves. There is even a song entitled "Feelings Are Important," which is all about lesbians and their perpertual love of processing. Brilliant.

What I found particularly interesting, however, was the song/general interlude entitled "A Short History of Gay Marriage in Canada," because I didn't know half of the information the interlude addressed. Like, Pierre Trudeau - you're pretty alright (revelation of the century, I know. But I mean in the context of how he decriminalized homosexuality in the Criminal Code in 1969. They don't teach you that in high school history).

All in all the show provided for a funny, uplifting evening. I'd see it again if I wasn't so broke. I hope it gets picked up by Broadway, though I'm wondering if they'd have to change it to make it more relevant to American audiences.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Whooo are you? Who who, who who

My mind is blown: Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear have the exact same voices as Ernie and Bert. No variation - IDENTICAL. I realize that Jim Henson did all their voices, but a little differentiation would have been a good thing, I think. Not that it made a difference to my nine year old self, as I am just coming to this realization now. But indeed - now, whenever I come across Sesame Street in day-to-day life (which happens all the time, obvs), I'm just going to think that Bert and Ernie are in fact Fozzie and Kermit in disguise.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

No other sound is quite the same as your name

I'm not illiterate, I swear. In fact theatre, lesbians, and word play are three of my favourite things. Hence the name of my blog, so generously created by and given to me by my friend T (I'm also stealing initial-giving from her. She's a clever person, and I have issues with using real names. Perfect).

I don't really have much to say in this fancy introduction...I look forward to writing about things that I like, and equally or perhaps more so, things I don't like. That's right, the Thesbian Palace will at times be a place of sweet sweet cynicism. But...only sometimes. Tonight, however, as it is the start of my holiday time, and I am feeling dancey and nostalgic, I will leave you with this.